I'm Reviewing the Situation

Words: Andrew of Wolvenwood
Music: I'm Reviewing... from "Oliver"
Source: Wolvenwords

Oh Crown Tourney comes twice a year
I fervently hope I will hear
That my name's on the list that is
Published each fall and each spring
So that I can go out and bash heads -
How I'd love to be king!

I'm reviewing the situation
I could have my pick of ladies to be queen
I'd have the finest coronation
The kingdom and the Known World's ever seen

So a crown I'm getting possibly
And knights to swear me fealty
And armies who will follow me
And officers to bother me
The BOD in California
And meetings of the Curia ......
I think I'd better think it out again!

Perhaps I'll be made chivalry
A white belt would look good on me
But my dearest companions have
Always been Brigands and Thieves
So how can a fighter progress
Among men such as these?

I'm reviewing the situation
I would dance with every duchess to be found
I'll achieve my proper station
The noblest of the noblemen around

So a belt I'm getting possibly
And squires who would armor me
A finer knight you'll never see
With popsies who would fondle me
And popsies who would fondle me
I think I'd better think it out again!

I think I could be an Autocrat
Running a feast! Think of that!!
I'd reap praise from the King and the
Queen who would think I'm just great
And delight at each morsel that's
Served on the finest gold plate

I'm reviewing the situation
I'd serve meals in twelve removes in just a snap
And the finest celebration
Every lord would have a lady in his lap!

So an autocrat I think I'll be
With honors from the royalty
With schedules and reports to make
On how much food the feast will take
With site fees, keys and serving boys
And kitchens full of steam and noise
And hungry fighters wanting more
And onlyme to mop the floor.....
I think I'd better think it out again.

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