For a related site: What is the Calontir Army?
You think a purple and gold Falcon tabard is the perfect fashion accessory.
If you know just how high the ‘Height of Fashion’ is.
If they are issuing a storm warning at Lilies, and you say “Awww, it’s just a little- tornado!”
If you know the correct answer to “Have you heard the broccoli joke?” is “Yes, but my friend here hasn’t.”
If you’ve ever sang a song in the key of army.
If you can name that tune in one word. “Hasten”
. . . or two words: “Last Night,”.
If you can sing with your hands (“Swing low, Sweet chariot”)
If you hum “Song of the Shield Wall” or “Non Nobis Domine” when you are bored at work.
If there’s nothing better after a hard days work than a cup of hot chicken soup and a piece of jerky.
If you have a tattoo that includes a Cross of Calatrava
If you know what in the heck a Cross of Calatrava is
If a random lady walking up to you on the battlefield and offering you her “jugs” is not the least bit scandalous.
If you realize that the above statement refers to water- jugs. (The rest of you owe Volkmar rent)
If you know you owe Volkmar rent because the gutter belongs to him.
. . . and Annalies’ job is to run along the curb and push everyone else in.
If you know The Colonel is not some dead guy named Sanders.
If the words “Phaedra’s Gate” cause your heart to swell with pride, and maybe there’s a touch of regret if you weren’t there.
If it’s just plain cool that you get to ride bus #1066
. . . and it’s even cooler that that bus is going to Estrella.
If you’re willing to take on Atenveldters armed with nothing but a single sword because your King tells you “C’mon, all the cool kids are doin’ it?” and because Pepin thought it would be fun (and it was.)
If you know that goob is an affectionate term. And being one means you are cherished.
If you’ve ever had the urge to tag-and-release a golf cart.
If, at public fireworks displays, you have to resist yelling “CALONTIRRRRR” for the purple ones and “OUTLANDSSSSS” for the green ones.
If at said public fireworks display, when it is over, you are not suprised to have a watermelon, that Rhianwen cuts up with an axe.
You know that if you fall asleep right in front of the thrones, Their Majesties will step carefully over you to sit down.
Your scutum has racing stripes on it for after battle activities
You know the correct code word to get out of trouble Ferd puts you in is ‘Outlands!’
You know the correct words for the line “same damn way”.
You think that having a war encampment where you are packed in like sardines is ‘normal camping’.
“Normal camping” is fun.
You know the best fun is had at normal camping when certain people get bored ....
Your royalty buys the army snow-cones on the way home from the battle.
Your army *includes* non-combatants ( & and even non-heavies!)
Kirk challenges the kingdom to make shoes for a war and you are seriously contemplating participating to get the booze.
You have been on a ‘laurel pee’.
and one you all just won’t get . . . forgive me
You tear-up & get really homesick every time you see an Ultramar gas station....
If fire jumping in a great kilt sounds fun and even being regimental you live. (mostly)
If there is a break in the fighting for lunch and see a male half armored fighter working with thread and needle while the food is being fixed.
If you finally have time to mow the grass around the garage and find the pole arm you lost 2 pennsics ago.
If you only know the jest of the broccli joke and offer a friend up for the telling. So you can hear it.
If you have a complete living area assigned just to your sca stuff. Vowing to move to a bigger house as soon as you can. Because you don't have any room for the Kids.
If you judge a march by songs..."It's only a 3 song march...that ain't bad.....when I was at Pensic (insert number here) it was a 10 song march....(right!!!) And how many times did you stop on that one...?
If you send your female apprentice to another Laurel to learn a "Gentle" art, and she comes back as a blacksmith...
You know that the best stories contain the phrase, "No sh*t, there we were..."
You know when to shout "Fesselmeyer!"
You know exactly how far it is to Grimfells, Westumbria, Deodar, La Grand Tente, and Pytt of Quivira.
You know that apple pie is delicious. You also know that apple pie is not a pie.
You know that the best of friends can disagree, and make mistakes, yet remain the best of friends.
You have heard tell of shaved flaming ducks.
And last, but not least, your cartoon theater burns down on such a regular basis that no one, not even Lloyd's of London, will insure it against fire damage.