The Twelve Stages of Authorization

Words: Harald of Three Rivers
Tune: The Twelve Days of Christmas
Source: Standing Song Stone Book

At the first event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"You've got to protect your left knee."

At the second event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"You need a better helm, and you've got to protect your left knee."

At the third event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Wear elbow pads, you need a better helm, and you've got to protect your left knee."

At the fourth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Buy hockey gloves," etc.

At the fifth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Guard your neck! Buy hockey gloves," etc.

At the sixth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"My God, you need a cup! Guard your neck," etc.

[Then the new marshallate rules appeared.]
At the seventh event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Pad your upper spine, my God you need a cup," etc.

At the eighth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Get a gambeson, pad your upper spine," etc.

At the ninth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Your knee braces need wings, get a gambeson," etc.

At the tenth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Buy a leather belt, your knee braces need wings," etc.

At the eleventh event I went to, the marshall said to me:
"Get a heavy vanbrace, buy a leather belt, your knee braces need wings, get a gambeson, pad your upper spine, my God you need a cup, guard your neck! Buy a hockey glove, wear elbow pads, you need a better helm, and you've got to protect your left knee."


At the twelfth event I went to, the marshall said to me:
[spoken:] "Fully authorized, m'lord!"

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