In AS Fourteen I took a little trip
'Long with our Warlord down the mighty Mississip'
Took a little whiskey, took a little wine,
Took along our catapult to beat on their behinds.
Chorus #1
Fired one load and the Southerns kept a-coming
But there wasn't nigh as many as there was the time before
Fired once more and they began a-running
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Looking down the river we see'd the Southerns come
And there must of been a hundred of them beating on the drums
Stepped so high, like to make the trumpets ring
I stood beside a cottonwood and didn't say a thing.
Chorus #2
And they ran thru the pine and they ran thru the brambles
And they ran thru the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast a hound couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
They stpped so proud to a trumpet and a drum
Dressed up all in velvet and a-glinting in the sun
Looked plumb gaudy in purple panty hose,
That we laughed till the tears were running down our nose.
Chorus #1
Fired one load and the Southerns kept a-coming
But there wasn't nigh as many as there was the time before
Fired once more and they began a-running
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
The Warlord said we could take 'em by suprise
If we didn't fire an arrow till we looked 'em in the eyes
Held our fire till we see'd their faces well
Then we fired off our long bows and we really gave 'em hell.
Chorus #2
And they ran thru the pine and they ran thru the brambles
And they ran thru the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast a hound couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Fired our engine till the skein frayed halfway through
Then we grabbed up a Tuchuck and folded him in two,
Twisted up his foreskin, wrapped it 'round his head,
And when we turned his crank, the Tuchuck...
Chorus #3
Fired his load but the Southerns kept a-swimmin'
And there wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
Fired once more and they began a slidin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.