The Coeur d'Ennui Song

Words: William Coeur du Boeuf
Tune: The Engineers Song
Source: Calon Song
MIDI file

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride.
To show to all the villagers her fine and pure white hide.
The most observant man of all, from Coeur d'Ennui, of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.

REFRAIN: (Please don't, actually--it's just called that)
We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Said she, "I've come a long, long way and I will go real far
For the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar!"
The man who took her from that horse and bought her some whiskey
Was a dirty, drunken lecher, but he hailed from Coeur d'Ennui!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Grandfather was a Viking from the cold land of Norway;
Grandmother was a French girl who chanced into his way;
Father was a Norman and chased Saxons on his horse--
Me? Well I am English --and a Gentleman, of course!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

In his youth our Azar was stolen by Mamelukes--
They made him play piano in a house of ill repute!
When one of the men made eyes at him, he kicked his butt, you see --
"Goodbye, you buggering bastard, I am off to Coeur d'Ennui!"

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Elizabeth of Lymond is a maid of Coeur d'Ennui,
But because she is so shy, some doubt her lechery.
Trained in library science from a fair and tender age,
She very often can be found, lingering o'er a Page!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Hedric of Northumberland is a scholar sage and wise;
He also is a fighting man, of heroic girth and size!
This makes a very war like sage, who knows just what to do:
"You gotta kill the men-folk off, and rape the women too!"

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

A dwarf of enormous appetites is one Roger Boulet,
If you'd pour whiskey on it, he'd eat a bale of hay!
When lusting after women, it's enough to make one blanche,
Why, in the dark one maiden thought he'd brought along his lance!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

A very sly magician is one Idriss the Great--
If he asks you to assist him, then you should hesitate:
"It's just a simple trick" he says, but when you see him leer
You should not need two guesses to know what'll disappear!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

(Ladies, take a warning:)
Never let a Boar Ring man an inch above your knee,
For if he bears the Boar Ring sign, he hails from Coeur d'Ennui.
He wants your body desperately, although he seems aloof--
For all the men from Coeur d'Ennui are just like Coeur du Boeuf!

We are, We are, We are, We are, We are from Coeur d'Ennui.
There's few who are our equal for simple lechery!
Come off your bench and clench a wench
And come along with us--
We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

A friend from old Three Rivers is Lord Stephen Ironhand,
They say he is a Baron and the finest in the land.
He passes us at lechery, by enough to make us weep--
for when he can't get women, well, he keeps a favorite sheep!

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He ain't, he ain't, he ain't, he ain't, he ain't from Coeur d'Ennui--
There's few who are his equal for sheer perversity!
That sheep, her name is Poopsie,
And she plays hard to get--
She don't give a damn,
He ain't a ram,
So he ain't had her yet!

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