A Dancer's History of the Middle Kingdom

Words: Anonymous
Tune: Vicar of Bray
Source: Calon Song
MIDI file NWC file

In Good King Franz's golden days,
When Royalty no harm meant,
A zealous Dancer then was I,
And so I gained preferment,
To teach my Guild I never missed --
Kings are by God appointed --
And damned be she who dared resist
To touch the Lord's annointed!

When Cariadoc obtained the throne
And lechery came in fashion,
All moral laws we hooted down,
And so displayed our passion.
The Saracens we found full well
Would fit our constitution,
And I would be a Muslim wench
But for the Revolution!

When Iriel's royal days came o'er,
And moderate men looked tall, sir,
The Guild turned cat-in-pan again,
And named the Duke the Small Sir.
And our preferment we obtained
From our new faith's Defender,
And nearly every day abjured
The Prophet and his Pretender.

Then Andrew was our King declared,
To heal the Nation's grievance...
To this new wind we steered,
And swore to him allegiance.
Old principles we did revoke,
Set conscience at a distance,
Passive resistance was a joke,
A jest was non-resistance!

The illustrious House of Seldomrest
Has now insured succession
To them I lustily will swear
While they can keep possession.
For in my faith and loyalty
I never once shall falter
And Thaid my lawful king shall be
Until the times should alter.

Tho' Thaid seemed first of doubtful sex,
And bade us bow to chairs, sir,
We plied our wiles, tho' somewhat vexed,
And found his manhood there, sir.
And for his favors Dancers vied,
Upon their Northwoods journies,
And kept the King well satisfied
Until the next Crown Tourney.

Now Andrew rules our land again,
Unmatched in combat gory.
To him with heart an hand we pledge
Our service amatory.
Our bruised affections we'll repair,
Within his lusty arms sir,
Until the Crown is moved elsewhere
Then with it go our charms sir!

For this be law that we maintain,
(You'll find it always apt, sir!)
The, whatsoever King shall reign,
The Dancers will adapt, sir!

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