When I was just a wee little lad
I saw a sight so weird
That I remember to this day
Humpk d'Bohunk's beard.
A wonder to behold it was
Made of steel wool bright:
And the moment I laid eyes on it
It became my heart's delight.
It went "splorsh" when he ate
And "drip" when he stopped,
It never did stand still,
And I'll never know the reason why
He kept it full of swill.
It grew right out from the end of his chin
And fell down from his nose,
And when he curled into a ball
It wrapped around his toes.
He used it to strain all his soup
To keep out e'er a bug
And when he went to sleep at night
He used it for a rug.
The years have gone by too quickly it seems
And I have my own little beard,
But no matter how I let it grow
It will not turn out weird.
It stops right at the end of my chin,
It's nowhere near my nose
And another thing that I don't like,
It will not reach my toes
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