Scourge of the SCA

Words: Brom Blackhand
Tune: Irish Washerwoman
Source: Calon Song
MIDI file

Oh, the kingdom's a mess, a political fright
And the whole Middle's up for a hell of a fight
'Cause the Chivalry's bitchy, the Horde wants a fray,
And the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, the Queen has run off and the mead's runnin' low,
And the Fool of the Kingdom is runnin' the show,
And the mouths are all running, and all that they say's
That the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, the Horde's gone to hell 'cause there's too many trids,
And the kingdomer's manners are worse than most kids,
And the big and the small are both up to foul play,
And the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, half of the folk of the Kingdom are ravin'
"Why doesn't somebody get rid of Boarshaven?"
Let's get someone else and let's do it today
'Cause the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, the kingdomers say that the Horde is a farce,
And the Hordesmen reply with a "Kiss my arse!"
As the cause is worth fighting, don't fall by the way
And the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, we start a new group 'cause the old ones are dying
Beneath all the fur that is constantly flying
"Cause he's full of shit!" so the useless ones say,
And the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, our Vikings wear blue jeans; our Hordesmen are docile,
The drunks in the corner have drunk all the wassail...
(The hangovers which they will get the next day...)
Oh, the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Hell, nobody uses 'Milord' or 'Milady'
And most of the females are devious and shady...
We think nothing of it, and go on our way;
Oh, the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Oh, dear, the good ship of the Middle needs fixin' --
It seems that we've got us a miniature Nixon!
And the people all moan, "It's a long way to May!"
Yes, the Middle's the scourge of the whole SCA.

Some Viking girls' costumes were once worn to prom,
And the Bane of the King is some Celtic called Brom,
Oh Dear Odin, please help us to live to the day
That the Middle's the best of the whole SCA!

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