Tourneys that start late and courts that are too long,
Fighters that fall 'cause they tied their own shoes wrong,
Buttons that fall off and soup without salt,
We know these things are our seneschal's fault.
Weather that's rainy and dirt on that new gown
Lists that go on until just after sundown,
Armor that's broken and girls who say halt,
We know these things are our seneschal's fault.
When my sword breaks,
When the soup's cold,
When I'm feeling lame
I simply remember Fiona's her name and that she's the one to blame.
Schedule revisions and banquets with cold food,
Kings who are irate and conduct that is lewd,
Unwritten reports and beer without malt,
We know these things are the seneschal's fault.
Rotten performers and mixed-up reporters,
Captions with wrong names and off-key recorders,
Favors not returned and fields of basalt,
We know these things are our seneschal's fault.
When I'm injured,
When the map's wrong,
When I sing off-key,
I simply remember Fiona's her name and that she's the one to blame.