Our Seneschal gives bad instructions;
The stupid things aren't worth a dime,
And IF we get back to Three Rivers,
He'll get the Plague Rat one more time.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
We got lost at the Sylvan Vale tourney;
We got lost on our way to two Crowns;
We got lost on our Louisville journey;
Dear Stephen reads maps upside-down.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
He gets lost in his two by two bathroom
(There's an "EXIT" sign over the door.)
We've been meeting in SUPAC since Christmas,
But he still can't remember what floor.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
His ox-cart's a rolling disaster
With Kleenex all over the floor;
If you're lucky, the brakes are still working,
But don't try to open the door.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
His excuses are many and varied;
His lateness he always explains;
He leaves our group nervous and harried,
But the time and the place slipped his brain.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
At the tourney there was great elation,
For Stephen's opponent had won.
Steve dies at the least provocation;
One blow, and the battle is done.
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
Oh, Steven's a natural leader,
I must admit: He has got guts.
He goes out to fight with a greatsword
With nothing to cover his...
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
Dear Stephen's the bane of the creampuffs;
He stuffs them down with such great flair.
When chided about them, he rebuffs,
"It's alright; they're mostly air." (Eldoreth)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
Our Baron is known as a traitor
Who fights for the enemy south,
Whose loyalty's strictly proportionate
To the Lambrusco he puts in his mouth. (Morgana)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
The Meridies Master Sargent
And Zarina's champion, too.
Uncle Steve, don't you think it's amazing
What a little Lambrusco can do? (Morgana)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
For victory, just follow Stephen
As he leads you boldly to fray,
The leads your opponents against you
And treacherously runs away (Morgana)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
Baron Stephen got drunk at Crown Tourney,
And he offered to fight for the South;
So next time we give him the Plague Rat,
Let's stuff the damn thing in his mouth. (Brom)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.
His shield is built by a lady,
For Stephen that's truly a thrill.
He lends out his sword in Crown Tourney,
And finds out it really CAN kill. (Atackqu'vix)
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again, again,
Plague Rat, Plague Rat,
The Seneschal gets it again.